satire and humor

Sanders Leads Polls Among Supporters

For the third month in a row Bernie Sanders has led all polls taken among supporters of Bernie Sanders.

“This is some serious shit,” said longtime supporter Rance Previous.  “There is no way that after Hillary sees these results she won’t just give up and go back to being a secretary for HP or wherever she came from!”

Among people 18 to 29, Sanders polled at a phenomenal 100% favorable rating among Sanders supporters.  The only group that fell below a 95% rating was the 60 and above age group, mostly because the respondents apparently couldn’t remember the question.

A number of people have questioned if Sanders can keep up these numbers if Joe Biden enters the race later this week, but Ezra Whine has pointed out that there is no reason to think that Biden supporters will pretend to be Sanders supporters just to skew the numbers.

Both CNN and The Washington Post have ignored this poll altogether, prompting some to advocate wearing underwear that are printed with the slogan “Cee Neener Neener” and using the Post exclusively for wrapping dead fish.graph FOR article

“Doesn’t CNN know how many celebrities support Bernie?” asked Lyssa Capistrano.  “Like, even that atheist guy on HBO does now.”

When reached for comment, Slate Gold, king of the pollsters, refused to respond to this interviewer’s questions about this poll directly, saying only, “Presidential polls at this point are meaningless – even mine.  If you want to help Bernie Sanders, go talk to some black voters.”

About Roger A. Shipley - The Willowbrook Curmudgeon

Roger Shipley, AKA The Willowbrook Curmudgeon, spent forty years teaching in the American educational system and emerged a grumpy old man. Ensconced in the Pacific Northwest, he writes, carves, and chides people for bad grammar. You can also find his grumblings at The Curmudgeon's Lair or follow his nonsense on Twitter or Face Book

2 Comments

  1. Debbie Howk

    I know Bernie Sanders will win the presidential election. The media is putting out the propaganda, but it’s not going to work. They want us to believe he has no chance so people won’t vote for him, or even vote. He will be the next President of our country no matter what they put out. It doesn’t matter what they say it only matters what we the people want. We can’t stop reaching out to people and introduce Bernie Sanders for President in 2016.
    We also need to clean our Congress and The House out to make our country greater.

    • Good point, Debbie. So let’s all not get so involved in the media madness of polling and just keep talking about the candidate and the issues.